Will I ever be okay?Will I ever be okay again? Is it normal to look at buildings rooftops and think, "If I got to the too and jumped would I survive?" Is it normal to want to jump into roads and scream.. Scream, "I'm not scared!" Then get hit by a incoming bus, car, truck or van? I look around and see the environment around me and look at the old primary school I used to go too. However, I end up crying as I can't go back to where I don't want to die, to where I only cared about making my family proud. I pass more of the school and see ropes that people swing on and think, "if I tied my neck to it and let myself go would I live?" When do things get better like everyone says it does, when will this pain end? I ask myself.. But more importantly I ask, will I ever be okay again?
The adventures of Captain Alexis and Skivvy MollyThe drunken pirate Alexis, stumbled from the pier. She had too much rum it wasn't helping that her boots laces were undone, and her outfit was a total mess. Buckle holding her sword was sliding off her body, her outfit was all ripped and torn from top to bottom. Seriously.. There wasn't a place that didn't show her skin. She being the flirt that she is, came across a group of woman... Nope. Even this pirate, she didn't care what gender it was. If it had a pulse and moved it was able to be flirted with. So when she spoke to the woman... This is what came out of her mouth.
"Well, well, well! Looks like I hit the right place loads of sexy ladies everywhere.." She smelt the air then spoke again, "Smells like it too, or is that just me? AHAHAHA." One of the ladies took offense to her so called "harmless flirting" So she said this "I beg your pardon, but who do you think you are?!" The girl examined Alexis, like a piece of meat. Alexis just smirked and said "Oh.. I'm Captain Alexis ma
You were my happiness.You were my happiness.
You were the one to take the grey clouds away; you were the one who made my flaws not matter. More importantly, you were the one who kept me alive.
Now you're gone. You said you cared about my heart but you never did, you killed it with lies and deceit. I loved you more than anything for it to be torn out of my mind.
I now wake up and stare into emptiness, sometimes with tears cold, but still there; rolling down. Sometimes not, sometimes the tears stay but the pain just sinks into like a knife. A knife that isn't seen but only felt.
I now look at myself and see the flaws to where I wasn't perfect, I see them and add them up in my head like a list, or a scale each adding up to equal: I'm not good enough anymore. Not just for you but anyone.